It is well known now by those around me that I strongly support ONE community, both as a Trans community and as an TLGB community. It is not hard for me. All equal...all with equal rights. Period. Really simple. It is made easier by the fact that I am both trans and a lesbian. I admit that I kind of feel different about the two labels though. 
It's like... I happen to be lesbian. I like girls. I always liked girls, both before and after my transition, so it is no big deal to me. The trans thing, though....that's me. I guess it is only a big deal to me because it is seems to be a big deal to everyone else on the planet. My beloved genetic partner once asked me, "When do you stop being trans?" I replied, "When everyone else lets me." I think that remains true for most of us who are open about who we are. Of course, much of what I just said is not relevant to why I am so pissed off.
Anyway, back to the One community idea. I was reading some stuff on a friend's Facebook page this morning when I saw a posting about the congressman who recently resigned due to his soliciting dates on Craigslist. It made a comment about him seeking out crossdressing and transsexual (CS/CD) women. I knew after reading this that the sh*t would fly.
So, I get involved in a discussion with a couple of gay guys about the posting. Of course, one of them had to use the term, "shemale". After I explained how offensive it is to a trans woman, likening it to the use of the word "f*g" and "ni**er", he proceeds to quote RuPaul to me. Oh, and "tr**ny" is ok also because RuPaul says it. WTF????? RuPaul, a gay man who does drag says it is ok so that makes it ok? Is every gay man in the community that ignorant? Even after I tell him it is offensive, he insists it is ok. Then he tells me go "sashay my ass" off of the posting and to get over myself!
This is not remotely my first encounter with a tool like this. What are we as a community to do when you try to take the time to educate the community and they refuse to be educated? What are you to do when the largest part of the LGB community, exuding cis-privilege, those empowered with more rights than us, continues to denigrate us and justify their bigotry by quoting others of the same cis class that are empowered? When do you say that is not ok to stand on our necks, dehumanize us and treat us like pets you can f**k with? This a**hole continued to write to me in the most condescending terms.
It is often the issue with the larger gay community. It is about caring, even when it doesn't affect you. It is the issue in Maryland that gives us a bill with no right to use a bathroom with which we identify. Hell, I am post-op. Does the Maryland gender equality bill's lack of public accommodations equality affect me? No. Should I care? You bet I should. We should all care. It continues inequality for the rest of my trans sisters and brothers. It is the "don't worry, we'll come back and get you later" bullsh*t. Tell me, how the hell are you gonna come back and pass a trans only public accomodations bill later? Seriously? How are you gonna do that? I live in Massachusetts. My state is one of the ultimate liberal bastions in the country, Scott Brown notwithstanding. We have same sex marriage. We have full protections against sexual orientation discrimination. 
Yet, we have no statewide gender rights protections. Yeah, they were gonna come back and get us. The hell they will! They won't come back and get us because they see us as annoying pets peeing on their carpet of fun, bothering them as they work to get all they need and want. They don't want to see that many of them are gender variant, too, and that our rights are their rights, that none of us are free until we all are free. It is the issue of trans people cheering the successes of the greater LGB community and even actively supporting them, be it DADT repeal, DOMA repeal or same-sex marriage and not getting the same in return, or getting some of it grudgingly.
Now, if you are a gay guy, do NOT jump all over me. I know that many of you support us and our needs. I know that many of you understand us or try to understand us. I know that many of you have taken the time to listen and learn about trans issues, and more importantly, trans people. The problem is that we SEE a lot more of the a**holes like the one I am talking about and not so much visibility about support for our issues. I want to point out a man like Tom Lang, who is trying hard to support us. He may not always get it right by our standards, but congratulations to him for trying to do so and for being visible. We need more who stand up and mean it. Many of my personal LGB friends are so supportive as well. I love them. They have blessed me with their support.
Anyway, I have typed long enough and hit the keys hard enough that I have calmed down, somewhat. You can't change the world overnight. You can't make anyone like us, want to hire us, and let us use public accommodations (that we are already using) just by passing legislation. It is a start. It is a necessary start. Jamming open the doors of discrimination are so important. Ultimately, it is about education and interaction. Visibility brings positive experiences. Positive experiences ultimately bring elevation of status. That brings us equality and back to "my friend". Dude, you are still a complete tool and a bigot. Own it.
Eva Kraus is a businesswoman and emerging trans voice. Her Facebook page is here.
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Further reading:
* Edge on the net: Before Scandal Broke, Former GOP Rep. Lee Reportedly Cruised Transwomen Online
* en/gender: Admirer in the News
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Related:
* How NOT to keep your Craigslist trolling on the DL